This is one of my favorite songs by Sheryl Crow, though this blog has nothing to do with the song itself, except that the title is very true.
As I’ve stated before, I am an extreme creature of habit. I enjoy routines, and could probably tell you what I am going to be doing at any given time at a future date. There are things I do at the same time every day every week, every month, etc.
In my youth, I was very spontaneous. I rarely knew what I’d be doing in five minutes, let alone making long term plans for the future. Sometimes people would mention someplace and I’d drop what I was doing and go. But I was also a lot younger, and a drug addict. It was after being sober that I started to get into routines. It really was an important tool for my sobriety actually. Focus on what’s next and after that, and after that rather than thinking about wanting my next fix. It really helped.
However, it is now 18 years later. I’ve been sober for 18 long years (as of November 6th, I sobered up on my 22nd birthday) and the routines of my daily life have changed very little. I still get up two hours before having to be somewhere to allow coffee time, I still have the same morning routine in the bathroom every morning, I still have to have my things set just so around me when I sit down to dinner. Part of this is definitely behavior indicitive of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) though I’ve downplayed that throughout the years, I will admit it is true. The symptoms of OCD which I display are not crippling as they are for some people. I do have to physically touch the locks on my doors to ensure they are locked before laying down to sleep. I have to always have to have my glass and silverware on the left side of my plate at dinner, even in a restaurant (I’m left handed). When I sit down to read or write, everything I could possibly need has to be within reach of me and I don’t do well with interruptions.
I’ve recently, in the last year and a half or so, realized that my dependence on routines has gotten a bit out of hand. It started when Tim and I separated. I fell into a daily routine living alone very quickly just to keep my sanity from not having such an important part of my life not be there anymore. But within a month of living alone, I made the conscious decision to stop that madness. It was kind of nice NOT knowing what the day was going to hold. Since then, I have switched up little things here and there. Ive found that it has been good for my fitness also by not spending certain hours doing certain things or to be be utterly prepared to not get up for hours at a time as I used to be.
I’ve took some chances lately that I probably wouldn’t have taken before. I took a promotion at work in July, switching my schedule to four 10 hour days instead of five 8 hour days. I’ve switched up my routine of cleaning and laundry on Sundays to whenever I get to it on my days off now. Little things along those lines, but I think they’ve been good for me. I also took a chance to start dating again. This was a major step for me. I’m learning about a whole new person and their life. I’m having to switch things up drastically to accomodate the schedule of not only myself, but another person. Also, the dynamic of the relationship is one that definitely isn’t something I was used to (but that is a whole other blog topic).
Change is unavoidable in life. We can fight it or accept it. Some things are easier to change, others require an effort. Sometimes it is sudden, other times a gradual thing. But one thing is for sure. Sometimes, A Change Would Do You Good.