Wicked Ways by Garbage is probably in my top 20 songs of all time. The whole album Version 2.0 is phenomenally awesome. I highly recommend it. I’m positive the other songs from the album will show up here at one point. But Wicked Ways is the ultimate “stripper” song in my opinion. The music, the tone of the song about trying to be “good” and failing….awesome.
I identify with the song. I have (all my life) tried to put on a good front as a normal homosexual man. There is a lot of stigma about gays being promiscuous with their sexual habits and being into a lot of things the majority of the population considers taboo. While I hate the stigma attached to that, I freely admit I AM THAT FREAK. But in my own way, of course. I have, at times, been rather a hoe. I do believe in love, and when I am with someone I believe in being faithful. But when I am single, I firmly believe it’s my body, I’ll do what I want with it. And who I want.
I have a LOT of interests sexually that most consider taboo or out of the norm. I’m not ashamed of them, though I don’t go around with a sign stating them either. I am going to talk about a few of them, so stop reading now if you don’t care to know.
I am very into the Dominant/submissive apect of sex. It is more than just who is doing the fucking and who’s taking it like a champ, it’s about the exchange of power being two consenting partners. One gets all of it, the other willingly gives the power over to the other. Usually this is not just a bedroom dynamic, but a way of life. Other times, it is just a sex thing. Sometimes it happens without either party being aware of it. For instance, Tim (my late husband) was very overpowering in life, we usually did what he wanted to do and on his timeline. He was in charge of the finances (poorly) and more often than not every aspect of our life together. I willingly let him have that control. Happy wife, happy life, right? Though in the bedroom, he preferred to be more of the submissive one, though admittedly, he was a very boring lover. I enjoy both being Dominant and submissive. In the community of that realm that is known as a switch.
I also like spanking. It kind of goes along with the “power” aspect of things. Being punished or punishing someone can be very erotic. I know a lot of you are thinking “OMG, how dare he!” But, quite frankly any woman or man who has jumped on the 50 Shades Of Grey bandwagon can sit down and shut up. The books and movies have made a shit ton of money, so there are obviously some freaks like me out there. (Disclosure: I have not read more than an exerpt nor seen any of the movies)
Age differences can be fun. Now that I am 40, I’ve had a giant wave of guys half my age hitting on me and calling me Daddy. I love it. Not that in anyway do I feel like a parent, nor have a desire to be one, nor want a boyfriend I have to raise. But the thrill of getting a lover half your age is quite thrilling. Their willingness to explore and the stamina they have is very reminsicent of when you were that age. On the other hand, it’s almost like a community service to teach them how to be better at sex. You pick up a few tricks over the years, they might as well learn a thing or two. I am not into men significantly older than me, though when I was 20 a few 40 year olds turned my head. At the very least, bagging a lover half your age will make you feel young again, if only for an hour or two.
I am fascinated by chastity and controlled orgasms. To spell it out for those not in the know, there are locks and restraint devices you can put over a man’s penis to prevent him from getting an erection or touching his penis. Again, this goes back to a power exchange. The one wearing the device has given over his right to an orgasm to the one not wearing it. The entire sexual experience becomes all about the Dominant one’s orgasm. I have only been on the Dominant end of this, and I loved it, but I have talked to a few on the submissive end of it and in their opinion it is very erotic to know that they are pleasing the one they are with. It takes the pressure off of them and their penis and allows them to focus on being an attentive lover. The two experiences I have had with this, I can see how that is true. They were very focused on pleasing me, and eager to do so.
A lot of other “taboo” or “fetish” things pique my interest, but I’ll save them for another time. I will add that anything I mention needs to be between two consenting adults, and should not be tried without complete trust and safety.
As always, you can find the music from my blog by clicking here.