Today’s topic: my first love and my first kiss.
My first kiss I remember, though I’m not sure it counts. I was in boy scouts, and a guy I was in the scouts with had an older sister, she was a year or two older. Since their mom was part of our troops leadership, she was often at the park where we had our meetings. I remember there was peer pressure for us to kiss. We were by a large rock with a plaque on it in the park, and we kissed. I’m not sure it counts because she was a girl. I don’t like girls, even though I pretended to at the time.
My first kiss with a guy I liked was in high school. We dated for a few years in secret. We hung out a lot and I think once we went fishing (which I hate, but I wanted to be cool in his eyes), we ended up making out in his car. It wasn’t anything spectacular.
The “first kiss” that stands out at me is when I was in college. Through a mutual friend, I was set up on a blind date with a guy named Dave. He was really tall, I think he was 6′ 7″ or so, I’m only 5′ 10″ so it was impressive. I wasn’t sure the date was going well, I was a younger drug addicted boy from a red neck family, and he was a few years older and very preppy. It just didn’t seem like a good fit. At the end of the date, I thought we were out of things to say to one another, and he was just kind of staring off into space. I asked him what was on his mind and he said he was thinking about how to kiss me without seeming to be pushy. I thought it was very sweet. The kiss itself was nice, slow and passionate without being overtly sexual. We didn’t date long after though.
My first love…well, that’s a tricky subject. When I was dating the guy in high school, I thought it was love, but we were both young and had to date in secret, so I’m not sure that counts. Looking back on him now, I don’t consider him someone I loved as much as I consider him just a guy I dated.
The first person I can look back on and know I LOVED was Chris, the guy that broke my heart before I got sober. We just connected. We had a lot of similar interests, we had the same job, the same friends, but we had enough differences to keep things interesting. I was fully committed to doing anything to make him happy, though he never asked me to change anything about myself. I think that was the major draw there, we liked everything about each other, flaws and all.
Even though he broke my heart, I learned a lot about love, and about myself, from that relationship. I will always remember the feeling I had while loving him.
Tomorrow’s topic: put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.