My husband, Tim, gave me a 30 day writing challenge. I was hesitant at first, as a couple of the “days” weren’t things I thought I’d write about, but I’m going to give it a go anyway. I may just change the topic ever so slightly to fit my style, I will notify if I do. I may also write more than one of these a day, but will post them accordingly.
Day 1: Your current relationship.
From reading previous entries to my blog, you may know that I am in a relationship. We’ve been together since February 2, 2006. So nearly ten years. We talked online for a couple years prior to meeting, and when we finally met, we knew we’d be together. Well, I did, I guess I shouldn’t speak for him.
Like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs. We recently had a “down” period, but hopefully we are on the way back up. After a period of poor communication, we tried ignoring problems and putting things on the back burner. (Again, not speaking for him) I did something that I’m not proud of rather than fix the problem at hand. Then I got caught. While that put considerable strain on our relationship, I think it forced us to have a long overdue dialogue about the issues at hand.
Here’s my current thoughts on everything concerning my relationship (and the actual point of this blog post):
I love my husband. Even though we are not legally married (yet), I can see spending my life with him. He’s not only my partner, but he’s my best friend. I cannot imagine my life without him in it.
He understands how my mind works, which I think is key in a relationship. He knows my likes and dislikes. He constantly encourages me to try new things and to better myself in positive ways. He’s supportive when he needs to be, and tells the truth when he thinks I’m getting in over my head.
He’s considerate when he knows I’m not going to like something, or when choosing an activity for us both to enjoy (example: I like to hike, but he’s not big on it, but he’s found some nice places for us to go). He also is good at persuading me to try new things that I would never do if it weren’t for him, and I’ve enjoyed most of them.
He’s the first person I want to talk to when something good (or bad) happens. We both have our own friends, but he’s the one I want around the most. I have work friends, and friends that have been around longer than him, but he’s the one that is a constant in my life and can span all aspects of my life.
I respect his opinion more than anyone else’s. With that being said though, I am often afraid of making him mad or afraid of disappointing him. I know that things aren’t always going to go the way you want in a relationship, but you have to be supportive of the other in their desire to better themselves….even if it doesn’t effect you at all personally.
I think he’s sexy. I don’t tell him as often as I should, but I do. He’s as attractive in a pair of pajamas as he is dressed up. He likes when I dress up and look nice, and while that isn’t my style (I’m a jeans and tee shirt kind of guys), I enjoy that it makes him happy when I do it. He gets this look on his face that I can’t explain, but I like the look. I know he finds me attractive, but I wish he would tell me more often.
He’s made me a better person. Since being with him, I’ve quit drinking as much (I rarely drink at all now, and I have less than ten drinks a year, whereas before I was having that many in one night out). I’ve fallen out of shape a few times, but he’s been supportive when I’ve tried to better my outward appearance (and my health), but he hasn’t been judgemental when I have fallen back off of that wagon. He’s also helped bring me out of my introverted state to be more of a social person. While reluctant, I’ve almost always had a good time with him, his family, and his friends.
He’s been disappointed in me a few times, but has adapted. I took a promotion at work a year ago, causing me to be on a different schedule than him, but his schedule has adjusted somewhat since then to accommodate us spending more time together. At first, I thought it was bad for him to work different hours, but now I realize that it is better for US to spend more time together. Other times (without specifics) he’s been disappointed, I understand he’s not being judgemental he just cares enough to be mad in the first place. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t care or get mad at all. It’s awesome to know he loves me enough to care.
We need to learn better communication. I think we are both afraid to tell the other how we feel, for fear of hurting the other. But sometimes sharing your thoughts, feelings, and ideas is what a relationship needs to thrive. People change, and a relationship needs to change with it.
I think we should spend more time together. We are often home together, but we do our own things. I read while he plays video games. We both retreat to our own bathrooms (an arrangement I think is great…we both have our own space that is just our own), as we are both smokers and don’t smoke in the rest of the apartment, but we need to come out more and not hang out in there. Perhaps a communal area (like the balcony) to smoke, but still be together. We need to stop checking social media as much, we both have the habit that if there is a lull in the conversation, we check Facebook to see what other people are sharing.
We used to spend all our free time together, then somewhere along the way, we’ve gotten used to having our alone time (which is both nice and needed sometimes) and I think we both crave that rather than being excited to be in each other’s company.
We need to take more of an interest in each other’s individual likes. He’s a VERY crafty person, while I am not. When he gets in a crafty mood, I tend to tune him out as I cannot see his vision, but I need to try harder and listen better to what he is trying to do. He grows bonsai trees, but I am not into horticulture, but I should pay more attention and be more supportive (even help) of his ideas to get his end result.
I like to hike, for the exercise, and he enjoys being outdoors but not the exercise part (not that he needs to, his body looks great). I read a lot, but he rarely reads anything other that informational books/websites. I’m a fiction reader and enjoy getting wrapped up in the fictional world of which I’m reading.
I love my husband. I hope we have many more happy years together. While our relationship isn’t perfect (who’s is?) I know we can get through whatever happens our way. We have a good relationship and the love is definitely there on both our parts. I hope we can always be together and share our lives.
That is my description of my current relationship.
Tomorrow: where I’d like to be in ten years.