I’ve been in a funk lately. I haven’t been myself, haven’t blogged or written much, haven’t been reading as much, and haven’t been social at all. I go to work, then I come home and take a nap. Any free time I have I sit in front of the television, but rarely get into what I’m watching. I’m going through the motions, but not really living.
Of course with all the free time from doing nothing, I’ve begun to dissect why I feel the way I do. I’ve come to the conclusion that since my best friend died nearly three years ago, I haven’t tried to fill his shoes. No one will ever be him, I understand that, but I’ve not a friend good enough to try to step into the role of my confidant.
Adam (my deceased friend) and I didn’t always agree, nor I do think an exact clone of my ideals and values is what I want. I want someone who understands me, who will tell me what I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear. Someone that won’t judge me for things I think they may not agree with. Someone who makes me laugh, but can also handle me when I’m sad.
I love my husband, but he’s not the one to fill this role. Sometimes we annoy the crap out of each other, or just don’t want to be together 24/7, and having someone else to talk to helps. I need someone who can deal with me when my husband won’t or can’t. Someone tell my secrets to and that keeps them.
Ok, rant over.