Personal Space Violation

Maybe it’s just me, but I hate my personal space violated. I hate when people feel the need to touch me and I loathe when people stand to close to me while having a conversation, and if you ever get a hug from me cherish it as if it were the last piece of food on Earth because I hate them.

I realize that this is a personal issue of mine, you need not call me out on it. Perhaps I wasn’t hugged enough as a child (I don’t remember), or some traumatic event which my mind is blocking keeps me from wanting human contact. But I don’t understand people’s need to be so close to me all the time. I’m irresistible, I get that, but respect the boundaries.

1. If you are standing so close to me I can feel your breath as you speak, you are too close.

2. If I can identify your shampoo scent during a conversation, you are too close.

3. Unless one of us us dying, hugs are not acceptable. If I do hug you, I must like you a lot, otherwise I wouldn’t touch you.

4. If I can count your eyelashes while you are speaking to me, you need to take a step back.

5. I can hear you from across the room (usually), you need not be close enough that I can guess what you had for lunch from your breath.

6. If you want to tell me a secret, let’s go someplace private, spitting your saliva in my ear isn’t going to work for me.

7. If I suddenly get warm from your body heat, please back up.

8. Touching me will not improve my hearing of whatever you are saying.

I’m sure there are more rules to my aversion to being violated, but that list could go on forever. These are just some top stand outs.

I don’t even like my husband in my area. He has his end of the couch, I have mine. There’s that third middle cushion between us where the cat thinks she belongs. She’s wrong, but there’s no arguing with a cat.

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2 comments

  1. No, YOU Go Outside. · June 23, 2015

    Haha, god. OK then.

    I’m totally the opposite, big fan of the people pretzel. I think in a former life I was a meerkat, because the idea of living in a huge house with all your friends and sleeping in bunkbeds and watching TV in a big heap shouldn’t be as appealing to a grown adult as it is to me. One time we were sitting on the sofa and L scratched my beard, and I remember being totally in love with the fact that we were so close that he’d scratch my face like it was his. How did he even know I was itchy?

    I’m almost 100% sure you’re being violently ill. Or making a face like you’ve just seen a dead body in the street.

    I’m clearly your nemesis in this arena. Good thing there’s an entire ocean and an internet between our conversation because I would almost certainly be too close.

    Like

    • jasinrockgod · June 23, 2015

      Lol. I’m not opposed to people, per se. Just clear violations of my space. I’d go a little ape shit if some one scratched my face without being asked.

      Like

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