A to Z: U is for Underwear

Underwear are the most important, and the most stupid, piece of clothing in existence. I can only speak from a man’s point of view, as I am male, but they both annoy me and make me feel comforted.

I’ve tried different types of underwear over the last thirty-seven years, boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs, bikini, thongs…I’ve even tried going without them at all. I’ve tried expensive ones, cheap ones, different fabrics, experimented with the thickness of fabric. I’ve come to the conclusion that no underwear are comfortable, but they are necessary.

The biggest problem with men’s underwear, in my opinion, are testicles. Some may argue it’s the penis but I’m not hear to argue that point, for me testicles are the problem.

Boxers let everything hang, which things get in the way of normal behavior, like walking for instance. Briefs have the same, but opposite effect. They hold everything in place, to a degree that becomes uncomfortable because nothing is moving down there. Bikini underwear just cuts off all circulation, and thongs just distract you from your front half by having a strap of fabric stuck in your back half.
I’m a boxer-brief kind of guy. There is the comfort to move, but not so tight you feel constrained, but not so loose things are just in your way all day. They (usually) aren’t creeping into your behind. They are usually made of cotton, so the fabric is nice.

The biggest problem with boxer-briefs is the legs. The are constantly creeping up toward my upper thigh. My pants don’t do this, nor do shorts, but inside…the legs of my underwear are slowly trying to contract to become briefs. I hate this.

Why can’t underwear just function like they are supposed to?


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